Pizza Delight - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 telephone (push button preferable, old fashioned rotary okay)
1 phone book
1 newspaper coupon
1 desperate man
1 absent woman
1 or more children, agitated and impatient

Preparation

Tired of being the helpless man?
Now you can take charge. It's really not that hard to fix dinner.
(Yell at kids.)
Look up the number for local Pizza Hut.
They're in white pages under \"P.\" Using index finger of right hand, call Pizza Hut.
(Yell at kids.) Tell them you have a coupon.
Order 1 large pizza, hand tossed, 1/2 sausage, 1/2 pepperoni.
Note time.
(Yell at kids.)