Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 elephant
brown gravy (lots and lots)
apple cider (lots and lots)
2 rabbits (optional)

Preparation

Cut the elephant into bite size pieces; this takes awhile. Marinate in lots and lots of apple cider.
Add spices to taste and enough brown gravy to cover.
Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks or until tender.
This will serve approximately 3,796 people.
If more are expected, add the two rabbits.
But do this only if necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.