Elephant Soup - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 large elephant (African is best)
600 gal. hot water
4 pecks onions, finely chopped
2 bushels potatoes, peeled and sliced
4 shovels salt
2 shovels white pepper
24 bottles Worcestershire sauce
15 bottles rum (or more if cooking time is longer)
Coke to taste
8 qt. peanut oil (optional)

Preparation

Mix 1 1/2 ounces rum with Coke; drink. Wash and dry elephant (don't use shampoo as this will spoil flavor).
Chop into bite-size chunks. In back of 1 ton truck and trailer, pour hot water. Immediately seal all cracks to prevent leaks. Have another rum and Coke; add elephant, potatoes and other ingredients. Allow to simmer.