Vodka Fruitcake - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
3 ounces lemon juice
1 cup nuts
1 gallon Absolut vodka

Preparation

First, sample the vodka to check for freshness.
Take a large bowl.
Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it.
Repeat.
Repeat again.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add water, eggs, and 1-tsp.
sugar and beat again.
Make shurr the vodca is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixers.
Chuck in the cup of dried fruitt or something.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit!
g!
ets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.
Next, sniff two cups of salt.
Or something.
Who cares?.
Check the vodka.
Now stiff the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Spoon.
Of suger or something-- Whatever.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Whip the bowl out the window.
Check the vidka again.
Go to bed.
Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway.