P B & J Feast - cooking recipe

Ingredients

4 slices whole wheat bread
4 Tbsp. Jif peanut butter (smooth or crunchy)
2 Tbsp. homemade jam (red raspberry preferred)
3 c. cold skim milk

Preparation

Check bread for moldy spots.
Throw the slices in the air 2 times.
Upon landing, spread peanut butter on two slices with knife to 1/8-inch thickness.
Lick off knife (be careful!).
Use same knife to scoop jelly from jar; be generous.
(If peanut butter sticks to the roof of mouth, apply more jam in subsequent sandwiches.)
Slap two slices together, being careful not to spill any jam.
Cut sandwich in half diagonally.
Bring to mouth and eat entire sandwich in four bites.
Swallow with thankfulness and make another one.