Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 qt. diced green pepper
8 doz. stalks celery
1/5 flagon garlic juice
22 yellow onions
5 gal. vegetable oil
20 lb. potatoes
9,216,000 drops water
10 bunches carrots
1 (10-year old) bull elephant
1 young rabbit
salt to taste

Preparation

Saw elephant into bite-sized pieces.
Saute pieces in oil until a lovely golden brown.
In a large, clean garbage can or wheelbarrow, combine water, vegetables and spices.
Bring to a boil.
Add meat.
Cover (if no cover is available, use heavy foil).
Simmer 5 days.