Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 medium size eggplant
1 ton salt
1 ton pepper
500 bushels potatoes
200 bushels carrots
4,000 sprigs parsley
2 small rabbits

Preparation

Cut elephant into bite-size pieces.
This will take approximately 2 months.
Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months).
Place meat in pan and cover with 1,000 gallons of bacon gravy and simmer 4 weeks.
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste. When meat is tender, add vegetables.
(A steam shovel is useful for this.)
Simmer slowly for 4 more weeks.
Garnish with parsley. Will serve 3,000 people.
If more are expected, add the two rabbits.
This is not recommended, however, since very few people like hare in their stew!