Never Fail Dumplings - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 1/2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
5 tsp. water
1 egg
3 Tbsp. shortening

Preparation

Secure one large elephant.
Kill, clean and cut into small cubes (this will take about two months).
Put in large kettle and simmer over kerosene heat at 465\u00b0 for 14 weeks.
Make gravy to cover.
This serves 3,685 people.
If more meat is needed, add two rabbits.
But use only if necessary, as few people care for hare in their stew.