Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 medium size elephant
1 ton salt
1 ton pepper
500 bushels potatoes
2000 bushels carrots
4000 sprigs parsley
1 small rabbit (optional)

Preparation

Cut elephant into bite size pieces.
(This will take about 2 months.)
Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months).
Place meat in pan and cover with 1000 gallons of brown gravy.
Simmer for 4 weeks.
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender, add vegetables (steam shovel is useful here).
Simmer slowly for 4 weeks.
If more are expected, add the rabbit.
(This isn't recommended, as few people like hare in their stew.)