Elephant Grandioso - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 large elephant
20 lb. salt
3 lb. pepper
6 qt. Adolf's meat tenderizer
1 oak tree (18-inch diameter at base)
2 rabbits

Preparation

Find elephant.
Cut into bite size pieces.
(This usually takes 2 weeks.)
Season carefully and add enough gravy to cover (about 400 gallons).