Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 medium sized elephant
1 ton salt
1 ton pepper
500 bushels potatoes
200 bushels carrots
4,000 sprigs parsley
2 small rabbits (optional)

Preparation

Cut elephant meat into bite size pieces (this will take about two months).
Cut vegetables into cubes (another two months). Place meat in a pan and cover with 1,000 gallons of brown gravy. Simmer for four weeks.
Shovel in salt and pepper to taste.
When meat is tender, add vegetables (a steam shovel or backhoe is useful for this).
Simmer slowly for four more weeks.
Garnish with parsley.
This will serve 3,800 people.
If more people are expected, add 2 rabbits.
I do not recommend this however, as very few people like hare in their stew.