Best Rum Cake Ever - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 or 2 qt. rum
1 c. butter
1 tsp. sugar
2 large eggs
1 c. dried fruit
baking powder
lemon juice
brown sugar
nuts

Preparation

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality.
Good, isn't it?
Now go ahead.
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
Check the rum again.
It must be just right.
To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can.
Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 seaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure the rum is of the highest quality.
Try another cup.
Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high.
If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity.
Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter).
Sample the rum again.
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice.
Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find.
Wix mell.
Grease oven and turn cake into pan 350 gredees.
Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the rum again and bo to ged.