Beef Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

stew meat
4 c. boiling water
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 clove garlic
1 medium onion
1 or 2 bay leaves
1 Tbsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. paprika
dash of allspice or cloves
12 oz. Larry's Blend (ground chuck), handle with care
2 oz. American cheese
2 of Steve's onion buns (fresh, of coarse!)
mushrooms and bacon (optional but good)
16 oz. vodka
12 oz. ice
4 oz. Squirt (watch Squirt, very expensive)

Preparation

Make sure you have enough ice.
Next, chop mushrooms.
Fry bacon and chop into small bits.
Make second drink and call off work for tomorrow while you can still talk (great idea).
Take Larry's Blend and fold in mushrooms and bacon (easy).
Turn on VH-1.
Turn up volume.
Get buns and cheese ready.
Put burgers on grill.
Keep an eye on them and flip when juice comes through. Turn up VH-1 and hope no one is home next door.
Better make a pitt stop next!
Be sure to refresh you drink (if you can find the vodka).
When juice runs clear (burgers not vodka) they are done. Place on buns with cheese.
Eat, drink and pass out!!!
Then you start over tomorrow.
Next cookbook will contain recipe for \"The Perfect Porterhouse.\"