How To Preserve A Husband - cooking recipe

Ingredients

selection
varieties
patience
charity
devotion

Preparation

Be careful in your selection.
Do not choose too young, and take only such as have been raised in good moral atmosphere.
Some insist on keeping them in a pickle, while others keep them in hot water.
Or, worse yet, over their heads in debt.
This only makes them sour, hard and sometimes bitter.
Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened smiles and flavored with kisses to taste.
Wrap them in a mantle of charity; keep them warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion.
Serve with 3 good meals a day.
When thus prepared, they will keep for years.