Miss Clem'S Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 elephant
water
1/2 ton assorted vegetables
2 rabbits

Preparation

Cut up elephant into 1-inch cubes.
Be accurate.
Use ruler. Place cubes in kettle containing 2,315 gallons of water.
Simmer 3 days.
Add assorted vegetables.
Do not use rutabagas.
Rutabagas hate people; that's why they taste the way they do.
Simmer 6 more days over low heat.