No-Bake Fake Twinkies - cooking recipe

Ingredients

2 lbs lard
1 cup sugar

Preparation

Thoroughly cream lard and sugar.
Use this mixture to fill a pastry bag.
Set aside.
Get a foam rubber seat cushion from your living room.
Remove upholstery from seat cushion.
Cut the foam rubber into rectangular shapes, approximately 1 1/2\" by 1 1/2 \" by 4\".
Fill your sink with hot soapy water, and wash the foam rubber pieces, rinsing carefully.
Spread out on towel to dry thoroughly, turning after 1 day.
When thoroughly dry, plunge a hot knitting needle through the narrow end, and quickly remove.
Repeat for each piece of foam rubber.
Fill the resulting tunnels using the pastry bag.
Serve on doily lined plastic plate.
Don't throw anything at ThatBobbieGirl ;-).