Elephant Stew - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 medium size elephant
10 lb. snails (shells included)
100 lb. carrots (tops included)
2 rabbits (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

Preparation

Cut elephant into bite-size pieces.
Wash snails; add to pot, including wash water.
Dump in carrots.
Add enough brown gravy to cover.
Salt and pepper.
Cook over fire for about 4 weeks at 465\u00b0.
Serves 3,800.
(If more are expected, 2 rabbits may be added.
But do this only in an emergency; most people do not like hare in their stew.)