Party Pig - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1 (200 lb.) sow, dressed
1 lb. salt
1/4 lb. pepper
1 apple (for effect)
1 huge outdoor grill
1/4 cord wood (preferably oak, hickory, apple or cherry)
2 stainless steel rods (8 feet x 3/4-inch)
source of water to control fire

Preparation

Prepare fire in outdoor (cooker) grill.
Let it burn for at least an hour to establish a steady cooking temperature.
Skewer the sow, using the stainless steel rods.
Salt the pig both inside and outside.
Pepper as desired.
As the pig begins to brown, turn every 20 to 30 minutes.
Meat must register 375\u00b0 throughout to be fully cooked.
Total cooking time, though depending on fire, will be approximately 24 hours.
Sprinkle water on fire when flames appear.
Serve on an 8 foot table.
Place apple in mouth.
Enjoy! (Serves approximately 100 people.)