Bubble Bath - cooking recipe

Ingredients

1/2 c. liquid detergent
4 or 5 drops glycerine
few drops fragrance
1 c. Epsom salts
few drops food coloring

Preparation

Light oven, get out bowl, spoons and ingredients.
Grease pan; crack nuts.
Remove 18 blocks and assorted ninja toys from table. Measure 2 cups flour.
Remove Lachlan's hands from flour.
Wash flour off of him.
Measure one more cup of flour to replace flour on floor.
Put flour, baking powder and salt in sifter.
Get dust pan and brush up pieces of bowl which Lachlan knocked on floor. Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove Lachlan's hands from bowl.
Wash Lachlan.
Get out egg.
Answer phone.
Return.
Take out greased pan.
Remove 1/4-inch salt from pan.
Look for Lachlan.
Get another pan and grease it.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find Lachlan.
Remove his hands from bowl.
Wash shortening off him.
Take up greased pan and find 1/4-inch layer of nutshells in it.
Head for Lachlan who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor.
Wash table.
Wash walls.
Wash dishes.
Wash Lachlan.
Call bakery and order cake. Lie down.