Christmas Rum Cake - cooking recipe

Ingredients

buttermilk
1 c. butter
1 tsp. sugar
brown sugar
salt
lemon juice
1 bottle rum
2 large eggs
2 c. dried fruit
baking powder

Preparation

Before you start, sample rum and check for quality.
Good, isn't it?
Now, go ahead, select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. and check that rum again for quality.
It must be just right.
Try it again.
With an electric mixer, beat one cup butter in a fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make certain that rum is of best quality.
Add eggs and dried fruit and beat until very high.
If fruit gets stuck in beaters, pry it out with a screwdriver.
Sample rum again checking for consistency. Next, sift in three cups baking powder, and add a pinch of rum, one seaspoon toda and one cut of pepper - or is it salt.
Anyway, don't fret; just test the rum again.
Zowie!
Now, sift in half pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk and add strained nuts. Shample rum again.