Roasted Preacher - cooking recipe

Ingredients

3 c. neglectful church goers
2 c. self-rising hypocrites
1/2 tsp. jealousy
1 c. frozen amens
3/4 Tbsp. whispers
dash of dried up deacons
2 Tbsp. sleepy singers
1 pinch tightwad tithers
dash of sermons
2 Tbsp. twinkle tongues
1 Tbsp. fault finders

Preparation

Mix thoroughly neglectful church goers along with self-rising hypocrites.
Add the dried deacons, sleepy singers and a pinch of tightwad tithers.
Mixture should be good and lumpy.
Let sit for sermon. Gradually add in jealousy, frozen amens and whispers. These ingredients will make it thick and stiff.
Be sure to use a spoon.
You don't want to miss a crumb.
After all these ingredients are mixed up and sermon is over, add twinkle tongues and fault finders.
This will add a good flavor to the roast.
By this time, your preacher should be cooked, stewed and boiled.
You should now have a well unbalanced roasted preacher.
This recipe is well known throughout the churches today.
It's simple and tasty and you don't even use a stove.
A very weak Christian.